Friday, November 1, 2024

Mental Illness and Neurodivergencies; Which characters fit that?

 yeah let's get the picture out of the way


update on 1/14/2025: I've decided to update the title a bit. It's not that it wasn't politically correct, I just felt like "neurodivergent" was a lot more clear than "psychological handicaps." I don't like to use the term "neurodivergent" because of how it went from a term that describes neurological disabilities to a word that describes basically every mental problem under the sun. I will still say "disabled," it's not a bad word and shouldn't be.

Ok I know this is a bit of a weird topic but I've decided to make a post dedicated to this because I actually don't feel uncomfortable listing all this stuff out there on my Toyhouse. Both because I just don't find this kind of stuff something to plaster all over the place and also because I know how the internet is when it comes to this topic. I've seen way too many people portray these disorders as a fantastic wonderland and actively lie about how they work. Just so you know, I do not want to be associated with those people. I am sensitive when it comes to this topic so if I see something like "OH THIS GROWN MAN IS SO BABY BECAUSE OF HIS TISM!!!" I will immediately block you. I don't even want my characters described as an "autism creature" that genuinely makes me wanna punch you.

Also disclaimer, I am not a mental health professional. Please do not take my word over that of an actual psychologist or anyone else who studies psychology for a living. The portrayals of the disorder are not gonna be completely accurate, especially since this is a cartoon and cartoon people act differently from real people, and also I don't have most of the disorders I'm mentioning here. If I do something that is genuinely insensitive and spreads any sort of harmful misinformation, please tell me where I messed up and why. However, I do prefer a source from someone who actually knows what they're talking about if you want me to take it seriously, like a well researched article around the topic. If you're gonna link me some random post from a site like Tumblr, Reddit, and especially Twitter, I will immediately consider it bullshit. I know it's rude, but it's the internet. People can and will lie about or exaggerate anything to stir up any crumb of drama or clout, especially with the whole "I'm X and I find this offensive" mentality surrounding those websites. 

 And small note, all of this is referring to Animals and Chaos specifically. Every other character is going to be ignored because I haven't yet thought of anything. Also EVERYTHING MENTIONED IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE, THIS MAY NOT BE ENTIRELY ACCURATE OVERTIME.

Ok with that out of the way, let's get into things. 


Max Karria: Ok so Max has a bit of a "disorder soup" as I call it. Max is pretty weird cause she's the 2nd AaC character I had around for the longest and thus has all kinds of weird shit with her. For starters, she's autistic. She has problems with actually speaking to people. She would much rather be left alone and she gets frustrated when strangers butt in on her personal space. She also has problems with clothing and food textures. Everything has to be cotton, nothing can be mixed, all that stuff.
She also suffers from gender dysphoria, not gonna go super in depth over this for spoiler reasons but Max is constantly insecure about herself and always wears oversized clothing because of this.
And finally, Max has severe anxiety and is constantly afraid of being hurt or what is happening in the world. But I don't know what she has exactly regarding this, and I feel like deciding on it now will go into some spoiler territory.

Ethan Wolfe: Ethan has kleptomania. He often gets very strong impulses to steal items that he can either afford or doesn't even need in the first place. It's no longer about what he steals, it's about the rush he gets. He originally stole out of survival, as he was previously homeless and could not afford half a tootsie roll. But over time the rush of taking things grew more and more powerful.
Ethan also has attachment issues. He spent most of his childhood believing that nobody was around to care about him, which will obviously fuck someone up. He lacks proper empathy for others and is egocentric. He genuinely does not know how to take gifts and gratitude from others and does not know how to respond to affection. He doesn't seem to realize that people really do care for him, so he feels that everyone is just a dirtbag who's only there for temporary comfort, and won't care if they suddenly vanish. I don't know what disorder this falls under exactly, closest I know about is Anti-social Personality Disorder, but I'm not sure if that fits him.

Jen Norvé: Jen is also autistic. This causes her to be sensitive to sounds and sights. She actively WANTS to speak to people, but she doesn't know how to join or start conversations, and when she is in one she's always awkward or people push her away. She's also a bit childish, she fixates on the stuff she grew up with, or simply because she thinks it's pretty, and has trouble handling significant changes to her daily life.
She also suffers from misophonia and anger issues. She finds annoyance in sounds that don't seem to bother anyone else. A lot of the time, nobody can hear what she hears and it drives her nuts. If her being autistic wasn't enough to tear her social life apart, this just makes everyone wanna avoid her no matter what. She very often explodes at others and no matter how much she regrets it and tries to make up for what happened, nobody wants to be near her anymore.

Sam Harris: We have another autist on our hands. Sam also has Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and mysophobia. I know it's a bit stereotypical to have a character with OCD be a clean freak, but this ties into Sam's backstory (can't elaborate cause spoilers). Sam fears either himself or someone else getting sick, cause if they get sick they could die, so he's incredibly cautious about anything that can cause any sort of illness. More than once has he caused harm to himself because he scrubbed his skin too hard.

Bruce Harris: Bruce has Persistent Depressive Disorder. He is very isolated and irritable because of it. But he tries his best to not let it consume him all for his son.
Also I imagine he'd be an alcoholic, he will be shown drinking in AaC, but I don't know how comfortable I am outright confirming whether or not this is canon because of how sad it makes me feel, plus I'm not sure if I really want to write an alcoholic parent who has a young child. It won't be elaborated or focused on in AaC for this reason.

Stephan Mandurr: Stephan is an autistic savant. He has trouble talking with anyone at all, but is a genius when it comes to math, literacy, and logical skills.

Josh Prose: Josh is also autistic. He also has social anxiety, but not a full blown anxiety disorder. He's just a scaredy cat. (Or a scaredy skvader.)

Dust Chatter: Dust has nonverbal autism. Dust lacks the ability to speak and the most she can do is small grunt. She has a specialized device that makes sounds and words, but she does prefer to communicate using body language and gestures. She thinks she's more mysterious that way.
If she were to speak, my headcanon voice for her is Tina Belcher.

Roxanne Griffes: Roxanne has Severe Bitch Disease and needs to be put down.

Pipkins: Pipkins was originally gonna have Dissociative Identity Disorder, with a split personality named "Avery." The idea was that the trauma she got from being at the lab she was created in caused her mind to split, but I decided against it for two reasons.

1. I don't know what it is with this disorder specifically, but the internet LOVES to make a complete mockery out of it. I'm not going to go in detail cause we'd be here forever and this garbage genuinely pisses me off but just so you know I don't support most online DID/system/plural/whatever communities. I know that's rude and all, but again it's the internet where anyone can lie about whatever just to get some clout, and I don't wanna be associated in a mental health space where "is having imaginary friends on the same level as an actual dissociative disorder" is such a heated debate. I actually refused to call Pipkins a "system" because of my disgust towards these people (and also because I prefer using actual medical terms over online terms). If you do genuinely have this disorder and are offended by what I said, I do apologize and I wanna clarify it's not directed towards you. It's directed to everyone else who is faking and knows better.

2. I don't feel like it's right to have someone like Pipkins be mentally ill or disabled. Pipkins is meant to be a test subject abomination with animalistic instincts. Having an animalistic, feral character be mentally ill feels wrong to me. Besides, I like Pipkins better when she's just a goofball despite her past, instead of having a scared second personality who's incredibly smart.

Jake Norvé: Jake also has autism. I didn't actually think so hard over how this affects him besides liking comic books, and I probably don't have to considering his role in the comic, but whatever. 


Saturday, September 14, 2024

Characters done!

 So I finally finished all the refs and current designs for every character I plan on having in Animals and Chaos. You can view them here. All I need to do now is update or add bios and I'm all set.

About the animation I was talking about, I'm close to completing it but I fell behind because I ended up becoming demotivated. It'll get done eventually.

also Mom asked me to help for her halloween costume, so now I'm very busy with that and I don't have that much free time with school and all.

Sorry that wasn't much, I just felt like I needed to update this blog.



Monday, August 19, 2024

Junior year, do your worst!

 So today marks the second week of school. Already I'm not enjoyin' it. They decided to just straight up ban cellphone usage in class. I can still use my phone, but only in passing period and in lunch. I understand why a rule like this is in place, I've known kids who went the whole school year scrolling on their phones and doing absolutely nothing, but apparently if you don't put your phone up for long enough they get security on your ass. Like dude it's a fucking phone! What do you think it's a bomb or something?
This rule nearly caused me to get homeschooled because I suffer from misophonia and using music was my main way of blocking out sounds. Already I'm starting to lose it, you do NOT realize how much people fucking tap or click in class unless if you too have this disorder. My misophonia basically ruined my life. It pulled out my hair, stabbed my back, stuck a lit cigarette on my arm, and just when I think I finally escape the torture with a personal device, the school goes ahead and takes that away so this malignant tumor can give me a good kick in the balls. I may have different device privileges because I was put in a special education program, but I've already accepted my phoneless fate.

Outside of that and just having to deal with obnoxious kids all day, I think I'm content with most of my classes. All my teachers seem cool, except my history teacher. She's not giving me great vibes. She keeps interrupting the lesson with stuff like "woah ain't this so terrible this was so bad this was sooooo horrible could you believe it" and trust me it gets really annoying.
I get that history is brutal and it shouldn't be glossed over nor sugarcoated but imagine reading a history book and every time it explained something gorey the author went "Could you believe it guys? What if this happened on Tiktok?"
Basically she's this meme.


I gotta get used to it. It wouldn't be my first rodeo with this kind of teacher. At least this is a history teacher so she has somewhat of a reason to say that stuff unlike my Freshman English teacher where she kept going on about how all minority groups are oppressed and if you aren't a straight white upperclass man you will DIE!! Almost all of that shit was completely uncalled for. Also she was one of the few teachers who knew I was trans (at the time? I think I'm genderfluid more than anything) and basically used that status to make me feel utterly hopeless and think I was gonna die in a hate crime or something. Never again.

Anyways that's enough of my school ranting. How's my projects coming along? Any work on Animals and Chaos? Well work on AaC is currently paused since I simply got tired of working on it all summer. I'm working on the secret spoiler characters in the series, so even if I was doing something nobody would know. I am, however, working on a new animation. Don't know how long this will take me but it's quite fun to work on! It also marks the first animation I'll make with a frame rate of 16 FPS. This is because the song I'm animating is very fast paced and I felt like my usual 14 FPS looked static and stiff paired up with the song. If some of the movements in the video seem too fast, this is why. Not used to animating on higher frame rates.

Thanks for reading my rant about how much of a big stinkie high school is. With love, Judas. 💜🖤


Thursday, August 1, 2024

Pain, angst, and chaos.

 Ok so here's an update on everything. School's rearing its ugly head soon, which is fun. I swear, that school was created solely just to shit on me, everything goes wrong, I'm constantly shoved into programs that just blame me for everything and I don't have a voice to reject any of that garbage. God I hate special ed.

But anyways this summer I was mainly focused on Animals and Chaos more than anything else. I'm constantly reworking all the characters, redesigning them if needed, and adding new faces. There's a lot of stuff I gotta do before I hop into things. And there's the sinking feeling that if I don't do this and don't do that everything will fall apart. 

And here's something about me, since I use my right hand so much I've developed chronic pain in my dominant hand and currently it's really fighting against me. I was diagnosed with tennis elbow and I fear I might have to go to a doctor again for carpal tunnel. There's no way I can really fully heal from this unless if I just absolutely never use my dominant hand at all for months. Add on that I'll have to go to school soon where I'll be using my right hand even more and I'm in for a world of hurt.

Also I got some other real life stuff on my hands. I'm learning to drive and I'm eyeing my local art store as my first job. Hopefully I can get all that sorted out soon enough, I'm tired of being in the house all day long with barely anything to do besides work some more.

Friday, July 26, 2024

WELCOME TO THE GREATEST SHOW UNEARTHED

 Hi y'all. This is Judas speaking. I am an artist and animator from the United States. I am new to Blogger so sorry if this site is a little bit broken but I opened this blog to showcase my art, ideas, and concepts easily. I would use Tumblr, but the userbase makes me queasy.

On this blog you will see more behind the scenes stuff regarding my projects, especially for my work-in-progress webcomic, Animals and Chaos. I'm still getting the hang of everything, so I might not be super active. 

While no pornography will be present on this website, this blog may contain images or video depicting fictional violence and gore. If you are under the age of 16, tread with caution. Viewer discretion is advised.

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